The three things I learned last week.

1. Old people shouldn't be allowed to drive. Because when you're waiting in line for gas in New Jersey, they will rear-end you and then claim it was because they were "looking for their credit card." [Um, is that a valid excuse in ANY state in the union?] Yep, take the keys away from granny. I'm totally an ageist when it comes to who should drive (neither the very young nor the very old).

2. A hitch is very effective at preventing your bumper from being damaged during a rear-end collision at a slow speed. Because my hitch (just the receiver) sticks out further than my bumper, my bumper has nary a scratch. I can't say the same about granny's car. Her front license plate was bent pretty badly.

3. How NOT to order coffee at Dunkin' Donuts. Apparently, words that have one definition in most English-speaking countries take on new meaning when you cross the threshold of Rachael Ray's allegedly favorite place to get a cup of joe. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "I'd like a medium coffee, please."

The Debbie Downer at Dunkin' Donuts: "How do you take it?"

Me: [Resisting urge to respond sarcastically "In a cup"] "Oh, just a
regular coffee please."

The DD at DD: "So one coffee with cream and sugar?"

Me: [Confused] "No, no, just a plain coffee."

The DD at DD: "So one coffee with sugar."

Me: [Really confused] "No, no, I just want a plain black coffee. With
nothing in it. No cream or sugar."

So a word to the wise: if all you want is for a Dunkin' Donuts employee to pick up a cup, pour coffee in it, and immediately put a lid on it, you literally have to explain it that way. Asking for it "regular" or "plain" will get you nowhere. But another word to the wise: just get your coffee elsewhere, unless you like really, really weak coffee that tastes terrible.